"Gender" Theory

Gender theory (at least the female half of it) in a nut shell is this:

A woman’s purpose is to make babies….

And all women should want this, it should be their no.1 priority in life everything they do should be geared towards successful reproduction, how they dress, how they act, they way they have sex, should all be in an effort to attract a male and successfully copulate.

If someone does not conform to the above then they couldn’t possibly be a woman.

This is what men (apparently) think of women.

Reading what I read on the internet, it’s possible that most “feminists” believe that ANYONE who subscribes to any part of the above, is a man/a male/a misogynist.

Now on some level I concur, I also believe many men do believe that and believe that women feel that way.

Many.

Not all.

And I think that to make the assertion that all men think that way, or that if someone thinks that way then they must (accordingly) be male/a man (or have experienced “male enculturation”) is  equally as “sexist” and offensive as this the whole concept above.

Now, yes! I live my life as a woman, and yes!, I feel the pressure in my daily life of "gendered" (sexed) expectation (per the above), and YES! it can feel pretty damn "oppressive" if I let it.

Here’s the thing though:

Personally, I actually DO want children. I’d give anything to be able to get pregnant and have babies, I believe it would be a miracle and something I’d be blessed to know/understand/be a part of (would I be scared? probably, aren't most women at least the first time around?). On an emotional level, it feels natural to me. 

I do not like that I’m not only made to feel bad by society over the fact that I can’t have babies, but then told by “feminists” that I’m a deluded man or that I can’t overcome my “male” enculturation because I vocalise or express that I would want that if I was capable.

(Which translates to: NO, I'm NOT trying to win "gender identity" points, and NO, I was not enculturated from birth into believing I should want that, so think what ever you want to think, explain it however it is that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy about yourself, it makes no difference to me, I don't give a damn wether I'm "good" enough for anyone)

I don’t support the view of women stated at the beginning of the post and yes, again, I concur that many men do think that way (again, not all), I believe it should be a woman’s choice as to wether she wants babies or not, and she should NOT be thought less of if she does not want them (however, I also believe that we each need to get past giving a damn about what everyone thinks of us, it’s not healthy for us to be so obsessed).

HOWEVER!

The ideas outlined actually DO seem to fit a remarkable amount of women, could ALL of those women truly be deluded….. brainwashed by society into believing they want that? (children?) surely SOME must be strong enough to exercise their own free will and ability for independent thought? 

Are ALL women (aside from these “feminists”, a remarkable number of whom it seems, are self declared lesbians, and as such, are probably less likely to get pregnant and become mothers than the bulk of female society) mindless “weak” individuals?

Sound’s to me like many of these supposed “feminists” view females/women in a remarkably similar light to how they suggest men do.

Face up to who you are already! 

Stop blaming your own insecurities on society.

Accept yourself.

Accept that you are as human as anyone else, and as such are equally deserving of love, compassion, respect, companionship, and dignity.

Stop with the complaining and then go seek those things out.

If someone tries to take those things away from you then take those things away from them in return, but here is the secret:

Even if you don’t respect them as a person, make sure the manner in which you take those things away IS “respectful”. 

Leave the door open if you will…

Desperately seeking "womanhood"

It’s natural right? a very human characteristic, the need to “fit in”, be included and “accepted”…..

We all need it, we all need to relate and be understood or at least feel we are.

It is my belief that no-one is actually born a “man” or a “woman”.

My belief is that one becomes one of those things (or the other) as a result of the life they live and the experiences garnered from that life.

“Woman-hood” is a result of experiences gained through interacting with the world as a (recognised by others) female, and vice versa for man-hood/males.

Shared life experiences are what promote inclusion and acceptance into any particular “group”.

Now it’s certainly a lonely world for many, so I can understand why, when I go internet adventuring and stumble across whole bunches o’ (trans)people who are all worked up and angst-y about women and radfems and people who chant that we not be “women” for realz, but I have to wonder what they/we all gain by getting all hot and bothered and insulted and hurt and upset by it all?

The deal is this yo!

You ain’t been one very long!

A “woman” that is….

Chill out!

Calm the fuck down and just go be one (a woman) for a few years.

You’ve done that and you still can’t get over all this hurtful “you ain’t real” stuff?….

Go be one a bit longer! keep doing that until it doesn’t matter wether all these folks think you’re “real” or not.

Did you “transition” to try and meet their approval? or did you “transition” because you just needed to be a girl?

I read all these things on the interwebz, all these blogs and reddits, forums and comment threads, all about being accepted and included, about: 

how can one reconcile being trans and at the same time “gender critical”….. 

how one can help work towards women’s rights/equality when feminists and feminism rejects them/us because we were born male…. 

and each time, when I’m tempted to start a profile so I can throw my $2.50 in, I have to pause and remind myself:

What the fuck would I know?…..

and more importantly:

What the fuck does it matter what I would know?…..

Who am I trying to impress?…..

Why am I trying to impress someone/anyone?

Here is reality as plainly as I can put it:

You aren’t going to change anything. All you are going to do is leave a traceable digital trail (attached to the opinions you’ve written) that someone smart enough might use to hunt you down and expose your real life identity with, if they happen to take exception to your opinions.

But change people’s mind and change the world?….

Not a bloody chance.

You’re far better off just being a woman.

Work hard, find a partner, adopt some kids and be a good mom.

That will do far more for you (in the long run) when it comes to being accepted and included as a woman, trust me!

if you keep to yourself but appear to other women as though you have a relatively happy and “successful” life, they’ll (most of them at least, some are gonna hate you just for the sake of it, that's "people", it's their issue not yours, they're "projecting") want to know how you did it, because the fact is that it’s hard for (women especially, BUT!) anyone, to achieve that.

Be gracious, and dignified, say only what needs be said, and be happy with who you are and the life you’ve given yourself.

These things aren’t easy, I know that (that is why I constantly have to remind myself as per the above), but over time I believe they are the “ticket”.