Trans-woman

Okay, welcome to the first episode of:

Things I don’t “get”

Where I post questions I can’t seem to find irrefutable answers for.

Todays thoughts:

1. Why is it I (we) need to be called Trans-women (or Trans-woman for individual/singular purposes)?
2. Is it just me, or is there a remarkable trend for MTF “trans” folks to invest themselves (heavily) in (what they believe is theoretically) feminism?

K, so maybe average people feel there is some practical purpose or benefit of some kind to adding a “trans” (and hyphen) to the front of “woman” when referring to me/us (post-op transsexuals) but in truth, on a personal level, I haven’t experienced nor can I think of a single benefit to being referred to as anything other than just a woman.

Why do I bring that up?

I guess that although I’ve seen that terminology batted around before, I’ve never thought of it applying to myself, until I saw it applied to me for the first time ever the other day (by someone I’ve never even met).

The argument most will have is that it’s “technically” correct for me, to which I would respond in two ways:

 1. POPPYCOCK!!! and 2. in who’s opinion and based on what? do you know me and my life better than I do?

Right then!…. NEXT!

“feminism”.

“trans-feminism”

“misogyny” 

“trans-misogyny”

“transphobia”……

I won’t lie to you, I. AM. SO. FUCKING. CONFUSED.

There’s a new word, a new “term” for anything and everything these days, and yet it seems to me that no matter how many new terms we “coin” they all relate back to a few basic human concepts:

The human capacity (and propensity) to “hate” and discriminate.

You can use any term you like in an effort to refer to these concepts but the only real purpose they serve, is to demonstrate for others how YOU define yourself and whereabouts you are situated in your life relative to THEM and the rest of society/humanity.

So with that in mind (and here is why I don’t “get” number 2, above), let’s break some of these terms/concepts down a little bit:

Firstly, you’re a girl right? you’re female? 

You happened to have been born with a penis (a transsexual), but you’re a girl and you always knew you were right from early age, SO! you went against what everything and everyone in the entire world tried to beat into, force on to and impress upon YOU from the day you took your first breath, and then you declared to anyone who would listen that you are/were supposed to have a vagina and be treated the way people with vaginas are supposed to be treated.

And THEN, you set about making that vagina and that “LIFE” your very own reality.

And now you’ve made it right? you are a “woman”.

You conquered you very own personal everest, you’ve succeeded!

Just another female in the world like all the rest, going about her daily life?

Women are everywhere in the world, most of them are mothers and wives going about their day, looking after their families, perhaps they have a job or were more inclined towards a career than a family, who knows! (we’re actually a pretty diverse group).

Of the total female population of the world, how many exactly do you suppose have the time, effort, or inclination to bleat on loudly and publicly about all the terrible aspects of life and womanhood and how all those things need to change just “because we say so”?

The truth is that most females (over time) adapt to life as a woman pretty well.

Some of us actually even LIKE being women (shocking right), we’re comfortable with it, it appears to “fit” us and what we want and believe our self-image to be, reasonably well. 

We learn over time that although there are some aspects of female existence that seem “unfair” (if you like) that they are mostly just an accepted (and hence acceptable) part of “life”.

There is no way to COMPLETELY guarantee those “unfair” things change or stop happening 100% of the time, there is ALWAYS going to be bad people in the world and people who ignore laws made against those “unfair” things, and so rather than live our life terrified of them, we accept that they are part of womanhood that we need to put up with and we learn to conduct ourselves in a manner that limits our exposure to those “unfair” things, and we get on with and enjoy our lives, our womanhood, as best we can.

So then,

Feminists…. Trans-feminists…..

Mysogyny…. trans-mysogyny….

Most of the people behind these concepts are people who believe (within themselves) that they are or have been “wronged” or mistreated and that that mistreatment somehow is or has been more “severe” than the rest of us humans.

In short; they are or have been hurt by others and are unable to come to terms with that hurt and move on with their lives.

Now MAYBE they have been “hurt” by others, and POSSIBLY it was even done intentionally, but was that hurt MORE “severe” than others of us?

I cannot possibly see how ANYONE could be deemed qualified to answer that.

I don’t live anyone else’s life but my own, and they do not live mine, so how can they know how they would feel to go through what I’ve been through and how can I know the same of their struggle?

The “isms” they’re touted as being about equality, about equal treatment, but how can one know equal treatment if they’ve never faced the life (as we don’t) of others.

How can women/females know wether they’re treated fairly/equally to men/males if they’ve never had to face life as a male?

How can natal born females judge wether they’re life is (or could have been) easier or harder if they’d been born transsexual? 

How can Transsexuals judge wether they’re life is (or could have been) easier or harder if they’d been born (genetically) the sex that matches their mind?

So when you see all of these “advocates” and “activists” my thoughts are that you should look PAST all the “righteousness” and guff that they present you with, and try to assess the personal motivation behind their thoughts and actions.

What are they hiding?….. personal insecurities maybe?

What do they stand to gain?….. Money? an easier life? who knows?

I try not to criticise too much or too many on this blog, I Try to stick pretty well to what I KNOW.

What I KNOW is what life is and means when born transsexual, and also (to as good of an extent as as any other woman can definitively know) what life is like for women.

The rest I (would) take with a grain of salt.

Choose who you are, and then live your life, be as happy as you can be, things could be much worse.

Changing the world.

I had been thinking about writing about the whole Bruce Jenner “thing”

I HAD been thinking about it.

HAD!

And then it occurred to me that every time I did, the more I contemplated it the more sad, angry, anxious and even (maybe a little) scared it made me.

I gave up everything, and when I say that I mean; my entire family, any friends and important relationships that mattered to me, any money and material possessions (even though there wasn’t really that much),  my “home”, my sense of “security”, often my dignity and my pride.

I paid with my blood and tears, enormous physical and emotional pain (and that’s without even thinking about trauma of childhood) 

All to be left alone and be just another female in society.

To be “no-body”.

That was the life I needed. 

NOT “Transsexual”

NOT “transgender”.

Just a woman. JUST female.

The FACT is, it’s IMPOSSIBLE to change everything.

There’s a record of my “male” birth on government data-bases and certain historical documents that are IMPOSSIBLE to change. My body will forever show signs of its biology.

I’m stuck with my “history” to an extent, until the day I die.

And then you get “trans” people like Bruce Jenner coming along and saying that this “trans-ness” thing is a PART of them.

They live their whole lives as men, marry and have sex with women, father children, have careers and  accumulate wealth and material assets as men, with the full benefit of the privileges afforded males.

And then they get on TV and they sell themselves as being the same as and having had the same life and story as girls like me.

They make the world aware of what can be achieved (physically) by the “treatments” designed for girls with my condition.

The public awareness they raise sees new legislation made which then gets applied to girls with my condition against our will, forcing us to be differentiated from other females.

I get so fuckin’ mad at it all that I can’t get much further (when responding to it all) than:

“Tans-ness” is NOT a fucking “PART” of me! I’m JUST A FRIGGIN’ GIRL!, and I just happened to have been born with a damn penis. 

Pissed off is an understatement, there is nothing NOTHING sensational about all of this.

So much of life is taken away from a girl when she’s born Transsexual.

Our innocence as children is taken, the freedom to live and explore as adolescents, pregnancy, child birth, biological motherhood, we’re snubbed and looked down on by family and the world, and that is just to start with! 

So much we miss out on! let me tell ya’ there isn’t a heck of a lot of “joy” left to live for.

And the arseholes come along and misrepresent us and show/say to the world that it’s possible for us to live for 65 years as a (seemingly happy, overall) man, accomplish HUGE things, and that having long hair, a pony-tail and wearing nail polish “long enough for it to chip off” is what we’re about.

Their words and actions threaten what little is left to make our lives worth fighting to live.

I’m better off to keep my opinion to myself, and just keep doing as much as I can to get as far away from anything and anyone that links me to being transsexual as possible.

You know what? I get it alright!

 I get that in most peoples eyes we aren’t female, and we aren't women, and I understand that it is impossible to change sex biologically, and I wouldn’t presume to tell anyone what to believe about any of that, nor how to live their lives, all I know, all I’ve EVER known and all I can tell you is what I feel in and of myself,  that I’m female, none of this “female soul” “soul of a female” Bullshit!

Female! like your sister, your mother, your wife, your daughter.

Female the SEX.

Female is NOT an "identity"and NOT a "gender". 

Those who claim to be “transgender” who live publicly, promote themselves and represent “trans-ness” to society, they’re taking away my/our right to live life how I/we see fit, they oppress me and I KNOW that they do so knowingly.

I/we don’t need the world “changed”

We’re quite ok with living our lives the same as any and EVERY other female since the dawn of humanity.

SO! to the “Bruce Jenners” of the world, I would say:

If you truly are a woman, then do as every other Transsexual does; change your name, get your surgery, shut your friggin’ mouth and go be a woman like the other (nearly) 3,614000000 females in the world.

The only thing that will change for us, is the suicide rate will increase.