It's difficult for me to write something that I think would be helpful or meaningful for a young person born transsexual.
Why?
Well there's so much out there on the internet as it is that talks about Transgender, Transgenderism, trans*-this and that, and most of it is conflated with and attempts to pass itself off as (pertaining to) what I believe and what most people used to understand Transsexualism as being and yet, so little of what I personally have read, comes close to 'me', to who I am and what I need and have felt throughout my life.
With such a swamp of opinion and "information" out there, what and WHO is a young person to believe?
Heck! how are people even going to find me?
Who am I and what does it matter what I think or say?
Can you even believe I am who I say I am, or that my life is what I say it is?
I have no photos up after all, I offer no "proof"....
I guess it's up to you to decide
For me, when I was in need of help, and answers, and a direction, it was my own motivation that helped me choose (whilst remaining vigilantly sceptical) who to listen to and what to believe.
Those who claimed to have what I felt I needed seemed pretty scarce, and it was easy to see when there where holes in what they said, by simply examining myself and my own feelings on whatever they were speaking of.
we know ourselves and what feels honest to us.
I guess there's one thing I could offer:
Be true to yourself ALWAYS! if you have to try or force something then it's not likely to be right for you.
Read A LOT!! and then read some more.
And when you're done, look for something you haven't found or read before and then read that too!
Read the stuff that's hard to read, the stuff that worries you, that tells you you'll never get to where you need to be.
Read the stuff that feels like truth.
And then think hard and try your best to make wise choices (not necessarily easy choices).
I was at my (potential) nieces 5th birthday party a few weeks ago, there where kids running about everywhere, having fun. the men were outside drinking beers and I was with the rest of the women who'd gone inside with the children to cut the birthday cake.
Inside one of the boys (upon spotting my nieces toys) proceeded to start dressing up in stereotypically female clothes, shoes, and started play with my nieces dolls and other toys.
It seemed like the most natural thing to the child.
90% of the women commented and tried to appease his mother, denouncing stereotypes etc etc, she smiled and played along, but she knew.
knew they where judging "him" and her.
She's concerned, I could see it.
I said nothing, and the fact that I did, seemed to concern her, to the point where she tried to explain him without me even asking for an explanation.
By now I'd say she's used to people's judgment (he was probably 5-6) obviously expects it.
Can I help her? be there for her? be someone to give her the understanding she needs?
Not really, not in this world now. not the way things are.
The sad truth (for me and those like me) is that the child is pretty much on it's own.
If he's lucky and I'm not, his mother will watch me, notice some differences about me, watch the way I live my life and if she's truly remarkable she'll work things out for herself.
But the chances of that happening are miniscule, not necessarily because of her in particular, but more so because of the pressures she's under in life, and the whole circumstance that being female and a woman sees thrust upon her by life and society.
Oh, I get "it" alright, I could be that person for her, in a perfect world. but that is not this world. and so I sit and I write this blog, it's (sadly) the best I have.
SO!
You should read this: Aimee Norin Stealth
She's like me mostly, although the things she's written in past have helped me avoid some of the difficulty she's had. that's all I can tell you
