Desperately seeking "womanhood"

It’s natural right? a very human characteristic, the need to “fit in”, be included and “accepted”…..

We all need it, we all need to relate and be understood or at least feel we are.

It is my belief that no-one is actually born a “man” or a “woman”.

My belief is that one becomes one of those things (or the other) as a result of the life they live and the experiences garnered from that life.

“Woman-hood” is a result of experiences gained through interacting with the world as a (recognised by others) female, and vice versa for man-hood/males.

Shared life experiences are what promote inclusion and acceptance into any particular “group”.

Now it’s certainly a lonely world for many, so I can understand why, when I go internet adventuring and stumble across whole bunches o’ (trans)people who are all worked up and angst-y about women and radfems and people who chant that we not be “women” for realz, but I have to wonder what they/we all gain by getting all hot and bothered and insulted and hurt and upset by it all?

The deal is this yo!

You ain’t been one very long!

A “woman” that is….

Chill out!

Calm the fuck down and just go be one (a woman) for a few years.

You’ve done that and you still can’t get over all this hurtful “you ain’t real” stuff?….

Go be one a bit longer! keep doing that until it doesn’t matter wether all these folks think you’re “real” or not.

Did you “transition” to try and meet their approval? or did you “transition” because you just needed to be a girl?

I read all these things on the interwebz, all these blogs and reddits, forums and comment threads, all about being accepted and included, about: 

how can one reconcile being trans and at the same time “gender critical”….. 

how one can help work towards women’s rights/equality when feminists and feminism rejects them/us because we were born male…. 

and each time, when I’m tempted to start a profile so I can throw my $2.50 in, I have to pause and remind myself:

What the fuck would I know?…..

and more importantly:

What the fuck does it matter what I would know?…..

Who am I trying to impress?…..

Why am I trying to impress someone/anyone?

Here is reality as plainly as I can put it:

You aren’t going to change anything. All you are going to do is leave a traceable digital trail (attached to the opinions you’ve written) that someone smart enough might use to hunt you down and expose your real life identity with, if they happen to take exception to your opinions.

But change people’s mind and change the world?….

Not a bloody chance.

You’re far better off just being a woman.

Work hard, find a partner, adopt some kids and be a good mom.

That will do far more for you (in the long run) when it comes to being accepted and included as a woman, trust me!

if you keep to yourself but appear to other women as though you have a relatively happy and “successful” life, they’ll (most of them at least, some are gonna hate you just for the sake of it, that's "people", it's their issue not yours, they're "projecting") want to know how you did it, because the fact is that it’s hard for (women especially, BUT!) anyone, to achieve that.

Be gracious, and dignified, say only what needs be said, and be happy with who you are and the life you’ve given yourself.

These things aren’t easy, I know that (that is why I constantly have to remind myself as per the above), but over time I believe they are the “ticket”.